Monday, October 13, 2008

Erev Succot
Monday, 13 October

One of the outstanding themes of Succot is gratitude. The Succah itself is traditionally understood by the Talmud, and this is echoed in the Shulchan Aruch, to represent the ananei hakavod, the clouds of glory which surrounded the dwellings of the Children of Israel in the wilderness and rendered them invulnerable to their enemies. But there is also no doubt that the Succah owes a significant part of its origin to the harvest and the booths which farmers would construct for shelter in order to spend this busy season of the year in their fields. Perhaps this, too, is the background to the ancient custom, described as early as the Mishnaic period, of decorating one’s Succah with produce from the passing months: ‘and hung in [the Succah] nuts, apricots, almonds, pomegranates, branches from the vine, crowns made of corn stalks, wines and vessels filled with fine flour…’ (Talmud: Shabbat 22a). Succot is the festival of faith and appreciation.

How important it is, then, to say thank you before the festival commences to everyone who has put so much hard work and good heart, devotion, learning, melody, fellow feeling, sensitivity, stamina, skill and generosity into creating the wonderful atmosphere which filled our community over the Yamim Nora’im, especially throughout Yom Kippur. Thank you for the commitment in coming forward to lead our services; thank you for the hard work and many patient hours of preparation; thank you for the beautiful singing; thank you for the endeavour to achieve heartfelt kavvanah; thank you for the sensitivity to the community in the way prayers were lead. And, as the song goes, thank you not just for the past, but also for the future. It’s never too early to be thinking about next year. But first, of course, comes the joy of Succot, zeman simchatenu; I hope we will be as strong a community in joy, over Hallel and Hakkafot, as we have been over fasting and confession.

Here are three brief thoughts about song (to be developed next year) to close this year’s blog.
God instructs Moses (Devarim 31:19) that he should teach the Children of Israel the song (recorded in Parashat Ha’azinu, known too as Moses’ Song) and that it should constitute an ed, an act of witness, between us and the divine. It seems puzzling that song should constitute testimony. Yet the depth, power and harmony of poetry and music are indeed one of the most profound sources of the holy and one of the most compelling means of transmitting its impact known to us.

In the Shirah, the Song at the Sea, we are told that God is both our strength and our music – ozzi vezimrat y’. In the contemporary world, song is certainly understood to be of aesthetic importance and widely felt to be of spiritual significance. But it is not generally related to strength. Power is considered to belong to a different discourse, of armies, weaponry, money, prestige. Yet that phrase from the Shirah, the song of the Torah par excellence, points to a deeper truth. Our strength lies precisely in our capacity for song; here is the source of our spiritual resistance, our joie de vivre, of our faith itself. Power, persecution, the inevitable passing over generations, - they cannot silence or obliterate song.

Lastly, one of the Hasidic derivations of our name, Yisrael, is ‘the one who sings of God’.
Thank you for helping us to sing that song. It is always ancient and always new, never different from how it has been, yet constantly in the process of transformation. Let’s look forward to its wonderful familiarity and its creative regeneration in the year ahead.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Erev Yom Kippur 5769

This is just a short but heartfelt message. The Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chayyim 581:1) discusses the characteristics necessary in a shaliach tzibbur (you’ll be surprised to know that it fails to use gender neutral language). Among the qualities listed, it is noted that he (or she) should ideally be at least thirty years old. (Please don’t feel bad if you aren’t! Nowadays these are seen are as hypothetical ideals anyway and it’s wonderful for our community to have new shelichei /ot tzibbur who are young.) The Mishnah Berurah notes that the reason is that a Levite of this age was fit to serve in the Temple, and that prayer, avodah she’balev, corresponds to avodah, the Temple service. But the Sha’ar Hatziyyun observes that the reason given in the Darkei Moshe is different. The latter writes, ‘Ideally he should be over thirty years of age, because then his heart is broken and crushed’.

This hardly sounds like a recommendation. But the words ‘broken and crushed’, nishbar venidkei, are not to be read negatively. The contexts from which these adjectives are drawn come from the Psalms: ‘God is near to the broken hearted’ (Psalm 34:19), and ‘The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit and a broken and crushed heart; these God will not reject’ (Psalm 51:19). But perhaps the best illustration is to be drawn, of course, from Hasidic life. Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel’s ancestor, the Apter Rav, was once asked why his prayers were always accepted in heaven. He replied: ‘You see, whenever a Jew comes to see me and pours out his heart and tells me the story of his misery and suffering, I have such compassion that a little hole is created in my heart. Since I have heard and listened to a great many Jews with their problems and anguish, there are a great many holes in my heart. I’m an old Jew and when I start to pray I take my heart and place it before God. He sees my broken heart, so many holes, so many splits, so He has compassion for my heart and that is why He listens to me.’

This reminds me of one of my favourite verses in the entire Torah: ‘And the Lord your God will open your heart and the hearts of your children, to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, so that you may live’. (Devarim 30:6) May God open our hearts and give us a compassionate spirit, so that the hopes, longings and yearnings of all our congregation and of human hearts everywhere may flow through us, and give wings to our words and our music so that they descend deep into our souls and ascend up to heaven. May God open our hearts and guide us and teach us to be compassionate in all our deeds in the coming year and for the rest of our lives.

Gmar Chatimah Tovah

Sunday, October 5, 2008

I was rash enough to write in Shalom New North London on Friday that ‘I love every word of the liturgy (or almost every word)’. I’m not about to retract: I do love the vastly greater part of it. But I was fairly challenged, with a courageous, honest and well intended series of questions: How can you say that, when so much of it the liturgy on the High Holydays is repetitive, a great deal is theologically difficult, if not offensive, much of it is destructive and some of it is silly!

Evidently the question, which exacts from us a lifetime of prayer and analysis, is: what is liturgy? Is liturgy words often sung or chanted to music or nusach? Or does that impose a false primacy on the words? Is it legitimate to say that one loves prayers because the melody signifies far more profoundly than the words? Or is that the theological equivalent of cheating? In a key discussion of kavvanah, the Shulchan Aruch does after all teach us that we should focus on the literal meaning of the words we are saying as we say them, something which I not only frequently don’t do, but experience many of my deepest moments of prayer when I’m not doing.

One of the charges often made is that the words do not convey what we actually feel and believe about God and fail to express our contemporary sense either of the world, our ethical ideas or our spirituality. Actually, I would argue, text by text, that this is far less the case than many people might initially suppose. But I’m also reluctant to become a fundamentalist of the twenty-first century and insist that liturgy confirm specifically and overwhelmingly to our current concepts. On the contrary, an essential manner in which prayer functions, at least for me, is that ancient texts carry generations of voices and spirits, who said or sung them, and for whom the words signified in hundreds of different, yet heartfelt ways. This constitutes, in my view, a very strong case for preserving prayers even when we find them difficult.

Interestingly, the latter argument was brought vehemently, and disingenuously, to bear against the reformers who introduced prayers in translation into the Hamburg Temple in 1815. The polemical pamphlet Eleh Divrei Habrit with which orthodoxy damned these changes used the argument not that halakhah forbids saying key prayers in translation (it doesn’t) but that we cannot translate the many mysteries locked in the specific Hebrew words. I take this to be a similar argument about the spirit carried,between the ancient letters and amidst the melodies, which would be lost if we disposed of them.

The issues here are extensive and deserve full debate (after Yom Kippur!!!). But the key point I felt myself wanting to make when I received that reply is that what liturgy offers us is not a reflection of our own world view, but a means of engagement, a way of awakening our soul, heart and mind, of encountering spiritual and ethical challenge. Prayer is not always there for our comfort. It asks us questions. It provokes us into debate. It summons forth not only our acquiescence but sometimes also our outrage. It constantly demands reinterpretation, not only from generation to generation but sometimes from day to day. We have not only to allow it to function at a metaphorical level, but to delight in the fact that it does so. And we have to feel free to disagree with the Machzor, and be grateful for the provocation.
As if prayer itself were not sufficiently demanding, leading the community in prayer, though also a great privilege, is even more of a challenge. For the prayer leader must, in halakhic terms, motzi et harabbim yedei chovatam, a phrase extremely hard to translate, but which may roughly be rendered as ‘enable the many to fulfil their obligations’. This applies not only on the legal, but also at the communal, emotional and spiritual levels.

On the halakhic plane, the matter is relatively straight forward. One has to have in mind that through the recital of the prayers, or indeed the blowing of the shofar, or the saying of a particular berachah, one intends to enable everyone present to fulfil his or her obligation with regard to this particular commandment. The key word here is ‘everybody’. The Shulchan Aruch specifically notes that one may not say to oneself, ‘I like all these people, except Shloimi in the corner, so there’s no way he should imagine I’m getting him off the hook with my davvening. He can jolly well go and do it for himself’.

Absurd as this sounds, it does present us with the real challenge, though again this is a privilege, of trying to fill our hearts with a bond of affection and appreciation towards each person, previous or present differences of opinion notwithstanding! This takes us to the communal and emotional level of ‘enabling people to fulfil their obligations’. It underlines why it is so deeply important that in all our services we embark upon the voyage of prayer in a spirit of tolerance, harmony and inclusion. Some of the issues are practical: I was horrified to learn from one lady in our congregation that she no longer comes to Shul because, afflicted with arthritis, it hurt her hands too much to hold a siddur and not one of our chairs available has a book rest on which she might place it. To my mind, the alienation of one single person for a reason of this kind amounts to the exclusion of the entire community from its own completeness. Then, of course, there is the endeavour to find a gracious mean between the needs of those whose hearing may have become less than perfect and the priority of enabling children to experience shul as happy and welcoming. I stress the word ‘gracious’ because, while we can’t hope to get everything right, we do have to maintain a welcoming heart and a friendly tone. The shammes, the rabbi, the shaliach tzibbur, the leadership sets the tone.

Then there is the question of spiritual inclusion. The shaliach/shlichat tzibbur prays not only from his or her own heart but uses melody and feeling to open the heart and help encourage and release the prayers of the whole congregation. What could be harder! One of the keys here is familiarity. The community often feels liberated by a well known melody, especially at this time of the year, especially if one does not come to shul all that often. Jews measure out their lives not in coffee spoons, but in the music of the great Kaddish before Mussaf and in joining in with the Melech al kol ha’aretz before its fourth berachah. Here leading becomes dialogue; leading is also listening. As a sermon giver, I associate this with my own struggles not simply to say from the pulpit what’s on my own mind, but also to try to listen to and articulate thoughts and feelings which are already there in the hearts of members of the community.

It’s because none of these are simple matters that our endeavours are rightly embraced by the quiet personal petitions, ‘God, open my lips’ and ‘Open my heart through your Torah’. God, please!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Love as Faithful Kindness

‘He prayeth best who loveth best all creatures great and small’. This simple verse which presents the moral conclusion of Coleridge’s great poem, The Rime Of The Ancient Mariner, effects me greatly.

I love every word (or almost) of the long liturgy which stretches through the fourteen or so hours of prayer on Yom Kippur. I think of it as a great river: its wonderful melodies are like the deeps, the rapids, and the still pools by the banks; its waters are the spirit of the thousands of pietists, poets and musicians who formulated its words and composed its melodies, and the power of its current derives from the millions of our ancestors who poured their hearts and tears into its flow. The whole day of Yom Kippur (save for feeling thirsty when one gets home after Kol Nidrei and dry in the mouth and weak in the head when one gets up before Shacharit) can pass like one great mantra. It’s beautiful.

But ‘He prayeth best who loveth best’: Yom Kippur is not simply about prayer, it’s about love. It’s about the kind of prayer, and confession, and repentance, and inner change which represents a deeply felt and genuinely intended commitment to the practice of love.

Love here must be understood according to the true meaning of Chesed, faithful kindness, which embraces the rich and the poor, the small act of helping a child over the road, the daily privilege of being attentive to and appreciative of our family, friends, colleagues and neighbours, and the great devotion of spending years tending the sick or raising money to feed the hungry. There is no limit to Chesed, teach our rabbis, and it is greater than Tzedakah, giving the due portion we owe to charity, because the latter involves our money whereas the former calls in addition on our direct personal action and commands our hands, our heart and all our being. Love in this sense is what is meant by ‘You shall love the Lord your God’, that is that we should show respect and reverence for God’s presence in every living thing.

The real question of these Days of Penitence and of Yom Kippur is: how do we live a more generous, committed and loving life? That is the challenge, or rather the privilege, to which the beautiful prayers are intended to open our hearts.

Thursday, October 2, 2008


I’ve just returned home from the contemplative service. It’s been a whole year since we held one, but we won’t let anything like such a long time pass before we have another. It was modest and simple. The silent meditation led by Ariel Klein and Leslie’s singing touched us all. At the end, no one stood up to leave. A magic circle had been formed out of stillness and spirit and no one wanted to break it.

I’m struck every year by a contrast which so many of the prayers articulate and which lies at the heart of the High Holydays. The brevity of life, its fragility and its pathos are stressed at the same time as our capacity for wonder and our ability to apprehend and praise God. Adam yesodo me’afar, humankind is made of dust, our bodies are as fragile as a potter’s wares. Yet this meditation is accompanied not by cynicism or resignation, but by great compassion for our fleeting fate. Even more poignant, though considerably less familiar, is the composition for Yom Kippur ve’avitah tehillah: You desire praise from flesh and blood, from passing shadows, whose soul departs, whose vitality flies away…yet your glory is upon them. This is what is so marvellous about human life, - how deeply we are able to love, how great is our appreciation of beauty, how amazing it is that in rare moments we feel in touch with the infinite, that we apprehend something, even an infinitesimal intimation, of the consciousness of God. Yet at the same moment our experiences are constantly transformed into this elusive past which rushes away from our grasp with the invincible speed of time. This dialectic, this counter pull of the dual forces of eternity and mortality, often makes me think of the ending of Dylan Thomas’ ferne Hill:
Time held me green and dying
But I sang in my chains like the sea.

Perhaps the most powerful, and also the most familiar, expression of this poignant tension is in the Shema Kolenyu prayer: ‘Do not cast us away from before you; do not take your sacred spirit from us’. That these words are greatly significant to so many people is obvious from the deep attention which grips the community whenever this sequence is sung. I wonder what they mean to different people. It seems to me that they express great courage; they suggest that a human being can cope with anything so long as the heart remains awake to wonder, so long as the spirit can still find God. Or perhaps, more simply, they are a prayer for protection: Keep me close to you God, and let nothing hurtful touch me. But this isn’t exactly what they say. What they state is simply ‘God, stay with me, whatever’. When you are with me I may still be a passing shadow but I pass by on the wings of wonder.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Yirat Shamayim - Fear of Heaven

I’m sure I’m not the only one for whom today is an ‘I’ll never, ever, ever, possibly ever get everything done I’m supposed to do before Yom Tov’ sort of day. Perhaps the best solution is to concede that it’s true, and then relax, hoping that, though I may forget things, I won’t forget people.

I promised to write about yirat shamayim, the fear of heaven.

In traditional Jewish theology fear of heaven is the partner of love of heaven, only it’s the unpopular member of the pair. Rabbi Louis Jacobs lamented that modern theologians tend to ignore it altogether. Yet it’s a deeply important - I was going to say ‘concept’, - but I should say feeling. The higher aspect of fear of heaven is called by the mystics yirat harommemut, awe before the exalted divine presence. Maimonides describes it as the impulse of humility, of withdrawal almost, before the experience of great wonder. It might be associated, for example, with the stillness we feel as we reach the summit of a mountain and see the majestic view unfold before us, rock, precipice, forest, sky and distant sea. For a moment something so vast invades our heart that we are silenced, lost in the presence of incomparably greater being. But here is a moment when the poet Rilke finds such awe in something very small:

I found you
One time…
You are a fledgling with yellow claws
And big eyes, and it hurts to see you so.
(My hand is far too broad for you.)
And I take with my fingers a drop from the spring.
I strain to see if you will take it with gaping beak.
I feel your heart throbbing and my own heart, too,
And both from fright.

The wonder of life has settled in the poet’s palm. We can appreciate the tiny bird’s terror. But the man, being so much stronger, why should he be afraid? Maybe it is the awe of such an unexpected encounter which overwhelms him. Or maybe it is the feeling of deep tenderness towards this little, fragile life, which he desperately hopes not to hurt. This reminds me of a Hasidic explanation of the meaning of yirat shamayim: it is what we experience when we care so much and are frightened lest we should ever inadvertently bring pain to the one whom we so deeply love.

I hope our hearts are stirred by such awe and that it touches our prayers with its wonder.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Love of God

I’ve never done this before, but I thought I would write a short message each day from now until Erev Yom Kippur.

If I were to say that all is calm and organised in this particular rabbinical household, with the tables laid and the apples shining next to the pot of honey, - well, then, I would be lying. Nor are the sermons all neatly written out and lying in a pile appropriately labelled. Nor have I visited everyone I intended to visit or written all the cards, or made all the phone calls…I’m sorry.

In spite of the rush and the pre Yom Tov angst, there are two qualities which matter above all. I really want them to prevail through our community. These are attitudes which we can only find and maintain with the help of one another. They are the classic terms in which Judaism describes the approach to God’s service and are so fundamental that Maimonides describes them both in the second chapter of his Laws of the Foundations of Torah. They are the love of God and the awe of God. I’ll say a few words about the former now, and about the latter tomorrow.

One can’t love God if one doesn’t love God’s world, especially other people. Yet we all know that even in our closest relationships, vexations and irritations often prevent us from appreciating those who deserve far better from us. Top of my agenda, therefore, and most especially so at this time of year, is to appreciate my family, friends, people with whom I share community, neighbourhood, even a casual conversation, and to try to show it. I seek out moments, places, poems which help me to realise what a privilege it is to be alive. I try to see the ordinary, beautiful things I so often simply rush past. Here, too, I know I don’t succeed in the way that I should wish.

But, thank goodness, there are extraordinary reminders. Twelve of us gathered at the Western Cemetery today for the short memorial service which has now become a Minhag of our community. Afterwards someone said to me, ‘I don’t know how this should be, but I leave here sad, yet grateful. I’m sad because of this great loss, yet I feel deeply grateful for the gift of life.’
This, to me, is the love of God: nothing pious, just a feeling for the wonder of life, and love. That’s the spirit I’m sure we would all like to have in our hearts when we stand before God. When it touches the heart, that is the moment when we are most truly in God’s presence.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

A Prayer to All Refugees

It's Wednesday morning and our walk is ending. We thank our excellent guides Roelof and George. I say 'Au revoir' and mean it; I can't wait to get back to the Pyrenees. I also discover that Eric is discussing coming back, but with a slighter easier route in mind so that more people can participate. More than one person says that this is the most arduous adventure he or she has ever undertaken.

Brian asks us to conclude with a prayer for all refugees, those who flee tyranny in whichever land, who try to swim from Africa to Spain, who hide in the backs of lorries or the holds of ships, who suffer simply because of who they are, and who still believe in freedom.

We all agree. Our climb has been intended as a memorial to those who fled across these mountains over sixty years ago, as a tribute to everyone who walks the path of freedom, and as a gesture to say that we stand by their side.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Valued Freedoms

The walking has been wonderful and everyone has shown a super spirit. This is what community is all about! I am so grateful. I have to thank Jeremy Schonfeld in particular, because, when I mentioned the idea over tea one Shabbat, instead of telling me I was meshuggah, he said “I’ll come with you”. He did, bringing his immense erudition on all things Jewish to enrich our journey.

I read to the group from Lisa Fittko’s account of how she guided Walter Benjamin over the border. Alte Benjamin, she called him, though he is only 48. His old school manners, and charm, are matched by a determination which offsets his dubious health. He rests every 10 minutes before he becomes exhausted. Lisa urges him to leave his heavy briefcase behind. But he will not be parted from the manuscript it contains. This, he insists, is “...more important than I am, more important than myself”. They reach the summit and Lisa does find a moment to appreciate the scene: “ The semi circle of Catalonia Rousillon, with its vermilion coast and autumn landscape with innumerable hues of red and yellow gold. I gasp for breath I have never seen such beauty before”.

They make it into Spain. But a few days later comes the news that Benjamin is dead. The Spanish border authorities have told the group they would be sent back (a policy rescinded almost at once). This was more than he could take and Benjamin took the morphine pills he had kept with him just in case. His aim had been achieved. He and his manuscript were beyond the reach of the Gestapo.

The work was never found. The records of the Spanish police refer to the briefcase and papers of unknown content.

There are freedoms which people value more than their own life.
Histories of Escape

I'm trying to read about crossing the Pyrenees both from the point of view of Jewish and from that of World War II history. My brother lent me the book "Home Run; Escape from Nazi Europe". It's astonishing how the Resistance in Holland, Belgium and France created routes for downed Allied Airmen. They were sent as 'parcels' from as far as the Dutch border to the south of France, then across the mountains. Fear awaited them at every turn; would they be captured by the Germans? Was it better to be safe as a POW or risk being shot in trying to make it home as an 'evader'? Whom did one trust? Should one knock at the farmhouse door? Could one trust the priest? Many did indeed work for the Resistance. Hundreds of men made it back, an invaluable replenishment of personnel for the RAF and an immense tribute to the courage of those who served in the Resistance, many of them only in their teens.

Yet from what I've read, though key difficulties were shared, the Jewish experience of flight was different. The Jews who sought refuge in Vichy France hoping to cross into Spain or Switzerland were effectively stateless. The key question was not only how to flee but where to flee. Who would take them? The USA? Cuba? Panama? Papers were needed for the right to reside, to travel, to enter another country and if you could not prove that you had somewhere which would accept you in the end, you couldn't even pass through anywhere in transit.
More wonderful flowers as we descend into Spain. Remarkable weather too on the Spanish side; the skies quickly darken, thunder fills the valleys, the rain gets thicker then colder and turns to hail. Not worth wearing an anorak reasons Mossy. By the time one gets it one, one is soaked already. One of our guides, George, unfurls his khaki mountain umbrella. We are glad there is no need for his other piece of special equipment, an ice axe, although we all enjoy those sections of our climbs and descents which take us over snow (it's July and the snow is still there).

I've never seen anything like it; whole valleys are filled with the grey green strap like leaves of narcissi with tall white spikes of flower. Losing my way on a particularly steep and slippery section of hillside I discover purple and red orchids among them.

Then comes the only mishap on our walk; Eric's rucksack comes hurtling down. Mercifully without its owner, disgorging plastic packages as it falls. On the pre-text of gathering them up, I clamber back for a second view of the orchids.

Further down and all through Wednesday's walk are fields filled with tall yellow gentians; I've always longed to see them but until now never have.

We've reentered woodland. Our guide explains that the Atlantic influence make the French side wetter, hence the deciduous forests. But here on the Mediterranean side it is drier (!), thus the pines are the wonderful scent of their needles which cover the woodland floor.

At length we reach the river. Later that night I read of a group of allied airmen who climb for 19 hours through terrible weather only to find the river on the Spanish side in spate and the water impassable. The bridge is of course guarded by Franco's army. They have to turn and climb all the way back. Mercifully they make a successful passage a few days later.

Our group sets off with tremendous good spirit. We owe a huge debt of gratitude to Eric and all his Trekkies experience finding local guides, making endless arrangements, matching up the loose ends of people’s different itineraries. Our guides are charming, helpful, know the way down to every slope and spree, and are eternally optimistic about the time each climb will take us.

We cover an age range of 60 years from Mossy and Rachel to Wynne whose stamina and slow but steady progress are an inspiration to us all. (If we could only manage like that when reach 75, the rest of all think).

The climbing is arduous and the descents have ropey moments (literally and figuratively). “We came to remember something painful and painful it has been” I overhear someone say, but with good humour.

What stirring moments. At some of the steepest places, and there are several with drops of dozens or even hundreds of feet, little more than a ledge away, I determinedly don’t look down but study the wild flowers at my feet.

The flowers are magnificent. Blue trumpet gentians in profusion together with the smaller, daintier spring gentians. After lunch we stand on the ridge at 2,600m astride the border so many longed to reach.
Dusk and Dawn

We all go outside to watch the sun set. It descends an orange red ball across the sea of mist below. Behind us the high mountains including the ridge to the south which marks the border with Spain and which we will cross tomorrow are illuminated with the final incandescance of dusk. Later I return outside close to midnight and see the bands and patches of snow on those mountains glowing beneath the vaults of stars.

Imagine climbing those mountains at night with no torches, unsure which way to go. The man who runs the refuge tells us that these routes were used not only in the summer but in January and in February too when the snow lay meters deep. I just read the account of an allied airman who crossed the Pyrenees led by a guide only to find the river on the Spanish side in spate. They had to go all the way back and repeat the 17 hour climb days later, but fortunately with success.

In the morning a brilliant blue sky covers the mountains. As we say shacharit certain prayers claim our attention. “Blessed be God who prepares our footsteps, who gives the weary strength”. “Praise God for the heavens, you mountains and all hills”.

Monday, June 30, 2008

At the Mountain Refuge of Estagnous

The group has all met up at the high mountain refuge of Estagnous, 2250m high. Two metal placards are screwed to the face of a boulder. They read:“There passed by here between 1940 and 1944 all those who refused to bow to Nazi oppression and escaped to fight for freedom.” The second reads “Chemin de la Liberte” Underneath is a picture of soldiers and the inscription reads “Faithful to their memory on the 50th anniversary of the (Normandy) landings for the liberation of France.” The first inscription troubles me. How many people refused to bow to Nazi to oppression but had no route out, no possible hope of escape? How many Jews and non-Jews, would have longed to pass by here?

We sit at tables on the veranda of the refuge looking back down at the route we climbed. Except that most of it is hidden in a thick mist which fills the long valley below. Ridges and peaks emerge above it, yet below us like islands in a grey white sea. Near at hand and steeply below us are two small lakes. One still half frozen and covered in snow. We gather we will become better acquainted with them tomorrow before we climb steeply up to the paths which lead to Spain.

In the Pyrenees

We begin to climb and thoughts of history give way to appreciation of the overwhelming beauty of this place. We follow a stream steeply upwards, sometimes across grassland, and sometimes through woods. There are beaches and silver birch with pine and elder.

We find more wild flowers than I’ve ever seen in my life. Purple orchids, rhododendrons with the last of its red flowers (crush a leaf and the rich perfume reminds me of the Scottish bracken), lenten roses growing freely, bilberries but the fruit is all gone and higher up (400m is just the climb before lunch), yellow lilies. I’ve never seen lilies growing wild before.

We stop at the foot of a vast waterfall. It pours over the ledge high above us and divides into half a dozen cascades down the huge slab of rock.

Bruce asked me whether any of the people who fled this way could have had a chance to absorb its natural beauty. We agree that this is most unlikely. At night, freezing cold, hungry, weak from months or years of flight; terrified of capture or betrayal, this journey must have been hell for them, except that it was their one and only hope of freedom.

About the Camp of Gurs [it’s in the direction of the Atlantic coast and our route will not take us there but we saw the site last Autumn]

Gurs was constructed in less than 3 weeks in the spring of 1939 to hold Spaniards fleeing Franco. From May 1940 it served as a camp for enemy aliens or ‘indesireables’ including Jews who fled Germany and in among them, expatriate German Nazi sympathizers.

Who were the French to know the difference? Many escaped at that time or were liberated. Among the former was Hannah Arendt.

From October 1940 Jews began to be deported there directly from Germany. Many were still able to obtain documents and flee but thousands were turned over by the Vichy regime to the Nazis. They were sent north Drancy, then east to Auschwitz.

Finally with the Liberation the camp was used to hold French Nazi collaborators, German prisoners of war and Spaniards who had fought in the French resistance. The Allies were worried lest the latter group take on Franco.

In 1946 the camp was dismantled.

2 years ago I bought a copy of the Gurs Hagaddah. It was handwritten and partly typed in the camp for Pesach 1941. It is prefaced by a picture of a yellow butterfly perching on barbed wire. In the distance behind the huts the snow covered Pyrenees can be seen. The image of freedom. Meanwhile Mossy and I have taken the night train and are on our way to the start of the Chemin de la Liberte.
Visiting the Memorial to the Shoa in Paris
Sitting having a coffee by the Seine with Notre Dame behind me I keep thinking of the lines of Paul Celan: “Your golden hair Margareta, your ashen hair Shulamith”

The effect of visiting the memorial to the Shoa prays on us all. Mossy and I are held up outside at security. We have rucksacks and the machine for examining bags has broken down. There’s an irony about Jews who fled Germany being stopped from entering here. Eventually the young, frum man in charge asks me if I know what the week’s Sidra is, and we’re let in,

Philippe, a member of the Masorti congregation in Paris, guides us. His mother was hidden during the war. Rabbi Krygier explains how his father was saved from deportation by a strange man who at first terrified him. It turned out to be a priest. This man moved him from hiding place to hiding place until the liberation risking his own life many times. I’ve been reading Lisa Fittko’s account of the war years in France. Young, Jewish, active in the political Resistance against Hitler, she fled Germany in 1933. She describes the round up of enemy aliens in the Velodrome D’Hiver, the camp at Gurs. The mass escape, as the French have more urgent preoccupations in the place of the route and the armistice, the confusion. How do you make plans to escape when you have no money, no papers, and don’t know where your loved ones are?

An intrepid sparrow sits on a wrought iron hanger right next to our table. Mossy takes out his camera but the bird is gone. You’ll never capture me. I have wings to protect my freedom!

The Seine rocks the moored boat come café where we are sitting. The onset of darkness is making the fading daylight more intense.

I think it was in Paris by the Seine that the darkness which had been haunting Paul Celan overcame him: “Death is a master from Germany; your golden Margareta, your ashen hair Shulamith”